tense.

I let my shoulders drop. I hadn’t event realized that they were living up at my ears all day.

I unclench my jaw, suddenly realizing, that is probably the origin of my pounding headache.

I am starting to realize I spend an excessive amount of time in this way. Shoulders lifted, jew clenched, stomach sucked in, etc., etc.

All of this helps to explain the neck pain, back pain and headaches. I don’t need a MD to know that this is probably really bad for me and is probably not a way to live. But, I am often caught unawares, when suddenly, I release something that I was tensing.

The worst part is I can’t pinpoint what is causing it. I am not sure what stressors are causing my body to revolt against me in this way. And more importantly, how has this become normal for me. Why does it take so long for me to realize this tension is even happening?

I don’t consider myself to be overly stressed on daily basis. I mean, I have stressful moments/days, but I don’t feel constantly stressed. Or do I?

So, I have turned to yoga. I have begun making an effort to get up and leave my desk more often. I have tried to be more aware of what my body is doing. But every once in a while, my body still betrays me.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to remove all of the tension for my life, literally or figuratively. But I know I need to pay more attention to it when it shows up.

 

 

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